Christian Family Movement -- Reaching Out to Marriages
Lauri Przybysz
News from the social sciences and much of our own experience seems to proclaim a requiem for marriage as an institution. PBS recently aired a documentary, “Marriage Just a Piece of Paper?”* that explores these changes. Everyone is saying marriage is in trouble and needs some kind of help.
The professional counseling community has responded by developing and offering numerous courses and programs for couples that will make time for them. Many of these programs were visible at the recent Smart Marriages Conference in Washington DC. The Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education is a non-denominational organization that offers valuable resources and links to courses in marriage and relationship improvement. You can subscribe to a free e-newsletter at www.smartmarriages.com.
Church leaders continue to call for “better marriage preparation” as a preventative medicine, but on-going pastoral support and spiritual nurturing of marriage across the lifespan is harder to come by. Over-extended clergy and parish staffs are often unable or unwilling to provide resources for on-going marriage enrichment programs.
Who better to assist marriage than married people themselves -- living witnesses to the value and importance of Christian marriage? Couples whose family spirituality has been shaped by CFM know that they must not just stand around observing and judging the demise of marriage. We must find a way to Act to strengthen marriage. This begins with strengthening and nurturing our own marriages, but also includes supporting the marriages around us with like-to-like ministry.
For more than 50 years, the Christian Family Movement in the US (CFM) has provided the tool of Observe-Judge-Act to help families reflect on their mission in the world. CFM has also been the source of several valuable program books that married couples can use with or without the assistance of parish staff to make a difference for marriage.
First, CFM offers a great marriage enrichment program for small groups of couples of any age: Your Marriage: The Great Adventure. Updated for the 20th century, this excellent 13-meeting program offers couples the opportunity to take a look at themselves and their marriage in light of Jesus’ teaching and challenge themselves to improve their union – by learning to Observe, Judge and Act.
Couples might make it an Action to lead a Your Marriage group – even taking time off from their established group to serve marriages of their friends and neighbors. The Marriage groups may well decide to join CFM at the end of the program, all the better for their marriages in the long term. Visit www.cfm.org for membership information.
Another marriage enrichment plan with CFM roots is the Covenant Experience. CFMers could make it an action to form a team to offer this parish-based weekend (“Eleven Steps to a Better Marriage”) designed by CFM deacon couple Bob and Irene Tomonto of Miami. Covenant leader’s guide and couple workbooks make it simple to create marriage ministry in a parish that can also grow new CFM groups. Visit www.thecovenantexperience.com for more information and to order materials.
A married couple that wants to reach out to marriages could work on marriage preparation at the parish or diocesan level. A great need exists for good sacramental marriage preparation, yet some parishes do not offer any, due to a shortage of leaders. Offer to become a presenter at a Pre-Cana or Engaged Encounter weekend. Or initiate a new marriage preparation program in your parish, if it does not currently provide one.
A very popular new style of marriage preparation is Sponsor Couple. In this "like-to-like" ministry, one experienced and well-trained married couple meets, in their own home, with one engaged couple. They agree to gather together for several sessions (usually five) to develop the engaged couple’s understanding of Christian Marriage and increase their awareness of each other's values and attitudes. For more information on establishing Sponsor Couples in your parish, contact Lauri Przybysz at the Archdiocese of Baltimore, lprzybysz@archbalt.org.
When married people step forward to minister to marriages – either in small action groups, weekend programs, or marriage preparation teams -- the parish also benefits, strengthening family life and building community. The bonus to this Christian Action is what it will do for your marriage. Married couples in like-to-like ministry gain continued insight into their own marriage, as they share with others life’s experiences and love's responses. A couple that is willing to share themselves and their relationship on a very personal level, not fearing self-revelation or truly human interaction with other couples, can make a difference.
- To order a videotape copy of “Marriage, Just a Piece of Paper?’ contact Eerdmans Publishing Co., sales@eerdmans.com or 800-253-7531.
